The BlogHer ’11 Laughter Jam

Aug 13, 2011

The thing I will remember most about BlogHer ’11 was the laughter.  The sessions were fantastic, the connections amazing, and the swag really really good.  But the laughter was the best part of it all.  And most of it, true to form, from a pile-up of embarrassing moments.

 

Photo Booth 

When I tweeted this:

I was referring to this:

   

The thing about photo booths is that the flash goes off whether you’re ready for it or not.  And keeps going off until one of you ends up bent over, clutching her stomach and totally out of the very last picture, while the other clasps her hands to her chest in an effort to get a breath in through the hee-hawing.

We emerged from the booth laughing like hyenas, stumbling over our waiting bags because we couldn’t see through the tears streaming down our faces.

A Pfizer rep rushed over and asked to film us, and we stupidly said yes, even though our hair was sticking to our wet cheeks and I was wielding a roll of toilet paper that I’d managed to dig out of my purse to help us mop up our running makeup.

When we finally recovered, we noticed that everyone on the floor within viewing distance was staring at us.  Including the guy holding out our pictures.

Me: You must see this all the time!

Guy: No, not really.

He gave us an unamused smile and turned back to staring at the wall across the floor.  Which makes me wonder what exactly that video is going to be used for!  Like, printing out a still and playing Pin The Tail On The Idiots.

 

Trapped In An Elevator

I walked onto the elevator and recognized the name on the badge of the guy in the corner.

Me: Oh!  HEEEYYY!  I follow you on Twitter!

Him: Cool!

Me: Yeah, my husband is Brazilian and we travel a lot, and I love your travel suggestions.

Him: I don’t write about traveling.

Me: Um, oh.  You don’t write about traveling with your kids?

Him: Uh, no.

Blank looks.  Blinking.

Me: I guess I have you confused with someone else.

Him: Yep.

What do you do at that point?  Turn and face the doors, hiding your badge with your purse so he can’t get a look at who you are, and wait in awkward silence all the way up to your floor, where you saunter off the elevator, trying to walk slowly so he won’t think you have a care in the world, even though you both know you just made an ass of yourself.

I found out later that he’s HUGE in the blogging world.  I think I was the only person at the conference who didn’t know who he was.  I do now.

 

Mistaken Identity

As I was leaving a media event I saw a friend from across the room, bending over a pile of paperwork.  I ran up to her, yelling, “Oh my gosh, I can’t believe I didn’t see you before now!  When did you get here?”  My friend turned and we gave each other a really big hug.  As I pulled away and saw her face, I realized, it was NOT my friend.  In fact, I’d never seen this person before in my life.

Her: Oh, I know!  It’s so good to see you!  My plane got in a little late so I slipped in after it started.

I could see her trying to sneak a look at my nametag.  She didn’t know who I was, either!

Me: It’s so good to see you, too!  Hey, I have to run out for a minute, but we’ll catch up later!

Her: Okay! Sounds great!

I escaped out of the room and hid in the bathroom until I could figure out a way out of my mix-up.  I really had to give her credit for going with the flow!  I decided to go the honesty route, but when I walked back by the room, she was gone.

Two nights later I was at a party when someone grabbed my arm.  That someone being HER!

Her: Hey!  How’re you doing?1  Isn’t this a great party?

Me: Yeah!  Hey, I have to admit something to you.  I thought you were someone else when I went up to you the other day, and you were so kind to pretend that you knew me, too!  I actually don’t know who you are!

Her: Don’t you remember me?  We met at lunch yesterday.

Me: No, you mean the media conference.  It was the day before yesterday!

Her smile started to fade.

Her: We sat next to each other at the catered lunch yesterday?  I’m from the humor site?

And then I realized, the woman I was talking to was, in fact, the person I’d sat next to at lunch the day before and NOT the woman I had pretended to know from two days prior.

Me: Oh my gosh!  YES!  I’m so sorry, I’m at the point where everything is starting to blend together.  Ha ha ha.

I waved my drink inbetween us, hoping that she’d think I was a little tipsy and attribute my mess-up to too much alcohol.  Never mind that my drink didn’t have an ounce of alcohol in it.

Her: Hmmm.  Yeah.  Have a good one.

I slinked away, straight to the sides of my friends, who all died laughing when I told them what had happened.

I just have to say, that my friend and these two women are all the same height and build, and have the same hair, so it was only half my fault for mixing them all up.

 

Hummus Shirt

On my way to the sponsor suites with the above mentioned Michelle from Muffin Tin Mom, we passed by a snack table.  Of course we had to stop and fill up our plates with pita chips and dips.

As we were walking, Michelle got a glimpse of my back and started freaking out.

Michelle: Laural!  NOOO!  OH NO!

Me: Oh my God, Michelle, what’s WRONG?

I had no idea what she was referring to, except that it had to do with my backside, and it must be BAD.

Me: DID MY PANTS RIP?  Michelle, OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO TELL ME, did my pants rip?

Michelle: No!  Oh, Laural, it’s WORSE!

I was seriously starting to panic.  If it wasn’t a rip in the booty, it was probably a cockroach crawling on me!  Or a snake!

Me: WHAT IS IT?

Michelle: You have hummus smeared all over the back of your shirt!

Not a rip and not a creepy crawly, thank goodness, but hummus isn’t the prettiest thing to have smeared all over you.  And it doesn’t have the most pleasant smell, either.  And I wasn’t going to be able to go back to my room to change for at least a few more hours.

Just as we were stepping into a bathroom so Michelle could try to get the worst of it off with paper towels, Jessica Bern walked by.  Now here was a person who’d appreciate an embarrassing predicament!

Me: Jessica!  I have hummus smeared all over the back of my shirt!

Jessica: What?

Me: Look!  There’s hummus all over the back of my shirt!  And I have no idea how it got there!  Isn’t that CRAZY?

Jessica: What are you talking about?  I don’t see anything at all.

And she kept on walking.  My attempt to connect over adversity had totally backfired.

When I finally stood in front of the mirror with Michelle at my back, I noticed I had guacamole down the front of my shirt as well.

 

There were so many more funny moments, like when Maegan from Beyond the Bandaids had a leafy green wrapped around her entire tooth, making it look like there was a gaping hole right in the front of her mouth, and all I could do was laugh and point as she asked, “What?  What?” and showed us that tooth over and over again.  I can’t list them all or you’d never get to the end.

Suffice to say, BlogHer ’11 was a huge success, laughter wise.  And I wouldn’t change a thing (as long as Elevator Guy doesn’t figure out who I am).

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20 Comments

  1. Thanks for letting me enjoy BlogHer11 with you. By the way, I completely understand how blurred all the new faces can become after a few hours.
    Virginia recently posted..My Endless Tech Support Calls to AT&TMy Profile

  2. OMG this is the best blogher recap ever. I have tears rolling down my face from laughter
    Tonya Staab recently posted..Peanut Butter Cream PieMy Profile

  3. I’m right there with Tonya, laughing my ass off with each story. I don’t know which of these were more funny, but I enjoyed your recap, especially since I never actually ran into you. Or did I? See, I can’t remember either!
    Sondra recently posted..Back-to-School TraditionsMy Profile

  4. Okay, I’m STILL laughing about the photo booth pics!! It just kills me every time I get to the frame where Michell is GONE!! I’m picturing her on the floor laughing her ass off. Or in a spaseship having been abducted by aliens. Either one, you guys crack me up!
    Sugar Jones recently posted..Don’t Get Zombie Brain… Eat, Drink, and Be Skinny!My Profile

  5. I didn’t give you much slack to work with there, did I? Hooray for me! Contributing to embarrassing moments at BlogHer conferences since 2008.

    What I really want to know is….who did you THINK I was and where can I read some of his travel tips?
    Backpacking Dad recently posted..The NukoToys Monsterology Game Is Going to Eat Your FaceMy Profile

    • Bahahaha!!! Sorry… still laughing… ;)
      Sugar Jones recently posted..Don’t Get Zombie Brain… Eat, Drink, and Be Skinny!My Profile

    • lauraloutloud

      Blasted Sugar.

      The closest I can come to who I thought you were is @TravelingDads. Though there’s also this Australian couple that hike around the world while lugging their kids in backpacks, which is probably closer to who I thought you were. Never mind that they’re not on Twitter. Or that you didn’t have an Australian accent.

  6. YES!! Hilarious!! And…somehow I guessed that you were talking about BackpackingDad, although I never actually saw him at the conference. (I did ask a random guy who was talking to me about backpacks if he was BackpackingDad, but he gave me an odd look and said he doesn’t blog… I think he was more out of place than me, just saying.)

    Thanks for sharing your awkward moments with the world :)

  7. Laural, I want to hang out with you in NY next year! All those blunders provided for a great read for the rest of us – you write it in such a way that I feel like I was right there with you. Did you tell your friend how you mistook someone else’s ass for hers? haha!

  8. Laural, this is the kind of stuff I missed not being at BlogHer. You are hilarious! Can’t wait to meet you in person at a Tweetup. You should’ve brought extra chips to enjoy the rest of the guacamole!

    Cheers,
    Holly
    Holly recently posted..How to Make an Android Screen CaptureMy Profile

  9. Those pictures with Michelle are awesome!! Love this recap, I literally LOL’d :)

    And? Don’t feel bad, looking back at your comments and seeing the blogger mistaken in the elevator was BackpackingDad… well I don’t know who that is either. :D

    Great post!
    laura recently posted..Nominated for a blog award at Parents Magazine. Care to share some love?My Profile

  10. hahahaha! That would TOTALLY be me – mixing up faces, not knowing who’s who in the blogging world. I really don’t think I’d have enough guts to go to one of these conventions. Way to put yourself out there, Laurel, and then laugh about it! You have the best sense of humor. Loved those photo booth pics. hahaha! (Love the new look too – my poor neglected blog really needs a makeover!)

  11. Thanks so much for this wonderful recap. Seriously. It makes me want to go and write a whole other recap of awkward, embarrassing, hilarious moments :) Love it!
    Danielle recently posted..Dear M: Eight Months OldMy Profile

  12. I’m not sure if you and Michelle realize that you were indeed in that photo booth laughing hysterically for an ungodly amount of time. Like half an hour, at least. And we were wondering what the heck was going on in there. Thankfully, there wasn’t a line of people waiting or anything!!! #loons
    La Jolla Mom recently posted..Baking With Olive Oil Instead of Butter – I Tried ItMy Profile

  13. Kara

    As always, even though I wasn’t there, the stories are totally HILARIOUS! So glad you had a good time ;)

  14. dude I connected with you on all levels. After a life of humiliating moments, I was just showing you one of the many ways I deal with them. That one was denial. I got a whole bunch more in case you are curious. :)

  15. Glad to hear you had such a good time with all the laughter.

    Acting like you are way too tipsy when in awkward moments is always the right thing to do.
    Jessica recently posted..Maintaining Sleep DeprivationMy Profile

  16. Nat

    So I just stumbled over here via your most recent post- this was suggested. I was at BlogHer’11, and I’m so bummed I didn’t know ANYONE. I did know my baby, so I guess she counts. But I was so very new.

    Anyway. This post made me LAUGH OUT LOUD. You are hilarious! Those kinds of things happen to me all the time. Thanks for tweeting my Pinterest stuff today!
    Nat recently posted..How to Edit Your Pinterest Boards; #CUYPB2012My Profile

  17. Nat

    …er, I mean thanks for commenting on my other blog post today. Clearly I need to step away from the computer.
    Nat recently posted..How to Edit Your Pinterest Boards; #CUYPB2012My Profile