Excuse Me, You Have A Giant Piece Of Greenery Wrapped Around Your Tooth

Aug 29, 2011

I spent a good 15 minutes of Sunday’s 60 minute sermon focused on a woman’s head in front of me.  She had her hair up in a banana clip (I know!  But apparently those are making a comeback right along with scrunchies, Heaven save us all), but she’d missed a large chunk on the right side and it was hanging down her back.

And by focused I mean I spent 15 minutes imagining myself tucking that chunk of hair right back up into that banana clip.  It’s a good thing she was a few rows up, because I could feel my hand twitching and I don’t know what I would’ve done if she was within touching distance.  I’d probably be looking for a new church again.

I’m the kind of person that will tell you if your skirt is stuck in your underwear, if you have ink on your face or if you have noticeable wax build-up in your ear.  I’ve even pushed wayward tags back into clothing without asking.  Which I admit, may be going a bit too far, but I just can’t help myself.  It’s all because, if I was in the same situation, I’d want someone to tell ME.

If I have a hair hanging out of my nose, please tell me.

If my zipper is down, please tell me.  (A HUGE shout-out to Mel for doing this very thing at BlogHer, after I’d paraded my pants past a dozen tables full of women sitting with eyes at Underwear Peephole Level who didn’t say a thing.)

If my mascara is smudged underneath my eyes making me look dead, if my socks don’t match (or shoes, for that matter, which has already happened twice this year), or if I have food crusted to the front of my shirt, or stuck in my teeth, please tell me!

And I will do the same for you.

And I’m going to work on the telling before helping part.

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  1. Oh how I wish I had more of these friends!!! I’m the SAME way… because I agree – I’d want to know!!

  2. I agree that I would love more people to say something. I tend to tell people, mainly if I know them a bit better. Sometimes it’s a bit strange to tell a perfect stranger.
    Gabriela – Living La Vida Normal recently posted..SOC Sunday: On my soapboxMy Profile

  3. I couldn’t agree with you more!
    The biggest offender is my husband of all people.
    He won’t say a thing and claims he doesn’t notice.
    Yay, right buddy!

  4. I am that person, for sure. “YOU HAVE TOILET PAPER STUCK TO YOUR SHOE”

    These are things people need to know. Always.
    briya recently posted..I didn’t know people didn’t know thisMy Profile

  5. I am so with you, sister. Sometimes I’ll be with a friend for four hours after a big lunch and see myself in the bathroom mirror with spinach on my front tooth. I always go back and say “Did you think I WANTED that there?” :) I once almost had a seizure trying to prevent myself from plucking hair off the back of some stranger’s coat who was sitting in front of me. I have a fear of detached hair.

  6. I agree with you, but I’m sure people don’t tell because they don’t want to cause the person embarrassment right in front of them by pointing out whatever is wrong. I’m with you that it’s better to be embarrassed once than later knowing you’ve been parading your embarrassing situation in front of all and sundry all day long.
    Miss Footloose | Life in the Expat Lane recently posted..Expat Life: Miss Footloose and the Scary LocalsMy Profile

  7. I do not understand the people who will not tell you. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM???

    I will always tell you.
    Suniverse recently posted..Boff Kill MarryMy Profile

  8. Kara

    Uhmm . . . hello?

    I don’t know if you have a giant piece of greenery anywhere near your teeth, but it has been almost two whole weeks! I need a little piece of L-O-L!

    BTW: super excited to see you soon!

  9. I got your back, yo. :)
    Melanie recently posted..Future Politician?!My Profile